Anti Social...or Anti Follower?

As I sit in the Starbucks @ Capital Towers, watching the smokers puffing in the warm afternoon sun, it becomes obvious to me that I certainly fit into the office rhythm no longer.

I love my work, but I love not the environment. I love the morning when I can stare into my charts, candlesticks, MACD, reading on the papers to see how the news affect the market for the day with breakfast at my side - be it whether I make money or give some back to the market, I love these times. I know knowledge is something that no one can take it away from me, I love knowing that I can walk away from any suffocation without the panic of not knowing whether I can bring dough back home. I am cocky and proud of this (though I do know that this might not be a good thing too).

Knowledge gives me the freedom to do my yoga in the mid afternoon after I complete my working day responsibilities towards my clients, my evening jog, my supermarket stroll. I love the freedom of being able to sit in the cafe, hitting the keyboard furiously on ideas that came just before I drift to the dreamland. I do not ask for hundred of thousands, millions, I ask for sufficiency.

Yet somehow while drifting into my land, I seem to have left all behind, choosing specifically who to keep in my sailing ship. I always belief strongly that no one can control our life, and I want to keep who I want to spend my time with at will. When I step into the office, I hate the silence that faces me while I welcome it with my heart; praying that it would last till I leave the office. I know I have brought this upon myself by walling myself up (but I really need to justify - it was to keep people from asking about rumours which they have heard from grapevines, I hate to the back-fence talk and I hate to clarify. If they are gullible to believe, so be it. Why do I need to put myself at the table to clarify?).

Can there ever be a place where everyone can just be contended with whatever that lies in their basket? Players of our category enter this market knowing that our income is very much pre determined by efforts and ability. it's a free market, how can all be contended and work out their merits? I hate to inveigle my way into better paycheck. If there is similar sentiments, take my path. I am an anti social because I am an anti follower. I want to live my life.

Nothing come to me easy; I think I totally deserve whatever little and many that I have now. Life is bountiful for now, and I believe it would be forever because I love myself for what I bring into my life.

I dedicate this piece to myself on this Valentine's Day with a latte in the late, warm and fuzzy afternoon...